TOW The Crash
by SFGrl
Summary: Monica and the gang try to move on, after Chandler's plane goes down {complete}
1. Fights and Planes and Bears, Oh my!!

The One With the Crash 

Part One

Chandler sat down on the small charter plane, cursing himself for taking this trip. This was his punishment, he thought, for going on this damn trip on his 3-year anniversary with Monica.

He hated flying, and really hated these small planes. But it was the only way he was going to get to Seattle on time. His plane from New York had landed in Portland two hours ago, and he had tried everything he could think of to avoid getting on this tiny plane.  He pulled out his cell phone and tried calling Monica again. He hated the way he'd left things with her. She was upset with his decision to go on the trip. They'd had a huge fight, something that was rare for them. Monica had refused to see Chandler off at the airport, and he'd refused to even say goodbye.

Suddenly, Chandler heard a loud alarm going off in the plane's cockpit, only a few feet away.   Before he could ask the pilots what was wrong, the plane took a tremendous dip, and something under the right wing exploded. Chandler grabbed his cell phone and dialed home.

Monica had managed to vent most of her frustration with Chandler on the apartment. It was spotless.  She sank down into the sofa, exhausted.

"Hey Mon," Rachel said, as she and Joey walked in.

"Happy Anniversary!" said Joey.

"Where's Chandler?"

"Not here," said Monica bitterly.

Before Rachel could ask why, Ross and Phoebe entered.

"Hey" Ross said. 

"Where's Chandler?"

"Not here!" yelled Monica.

"Wow, did you two have a fight or something?" Ross said, backing away from his temperamental sister.

Monica sank down into the sofa again, and huffed noisily.

"You mean the perfect couple does actually fight?" Rachel said sarcastically.

Monica was getting sick of Rachel's snide comments. 

"What is your problem Rachel?"

"What?"

"Is it jealousy? Is that it?" Monica yelled.

"What? Hey, don't yell at me, I didn't abandon you on your anniversary."

Monica was so mad she could scream. The palpable tension was broken by the telephone.

"Hello" said Joey. "Hey Chandler! We were just talking about you...kinda."

Monica groaned. She could not talk to Chandler right now. She grabbed her coat and left, slamming the door.

"Joey!" Chandler screamed into the phone. "I need to talk to Monica!"

Joey ran out into the hall to catch Monica, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"She's gone, man."

"Is, um, Ross there?" Chandler asked. He knew that if he told Joey he was about to crash, Joey would freak out and probably drop the phone.

Instead of handing the phone to Ross, Joey hit the speakerphone button.

"Ross?"

"Hey Chandler," Ross said.

"Hey Chandler!" Phoebe added.

"Am I on speakerphone?"

"Yup." Joey said.

Chandler sighed. "Okay, look, I need you to do me a favor."

They all huddled around the phone, eager to hear Chandler's plan to get back into Monica's good graces.

"I need you to tell Monica that I love her, and that I am sorry."

There was a loud crashing sound, as Chandler struggled to continue.

"Look, my plane is going down, and I don't know if I will...."

Another booming sound.

"Please tell Monica..."

Another crash.

"That I love her, and I am SO sorry."

The phone line went dead. The four friends sat there, stunned. The phone clicked, and the sound of the dial tone filled the room.

Monica walked back into the apartment.

"You know Rachel, I.... what the hell?" she said, as she turned off the speakerphone.

"Why were you guys listening to the dial tone?"

Joey stood up, covered his mouth with his hand, and ran to the bathroom. He couldn't believe he had just listened to his best friend die.

"What's going on?" Monica asked.

"Mon," Ross said, "its Chandler."

Monica sighed with irritation. "What, did he call to apologize for being an ass?"

"Yeah, he um, called to say that he loves you, and that he's sorry," Ross said.

"Yeah right."

"Mon," Phoebe said. "His plane.... it just.... Mon I think he just crashed."

Monica looked at her friends. This was a sick joke. But all of them looked at her so intently. Rachel had tears streaming down her face. The faint sound of Joey throwing up in the bathroom told Monica that this was no joke. 

"He wanted to tell you himself..." Ross repeated quietly. "We couldn't find you."

Monica looked at her brother, with tears in her eyes. Suddenly, her head was filled with images of Chandler, from the first time they had met at her parents house, all those years ago, to the look on his face when she read her wedding vows, to the smile that spread across his face last month when she'd told him she was pregnant. In a split second, she saw her entire life with Chandler, and a second later, the image of him crashing to the Earth, as the plane that was carrying him shattered into a million pieces around him.

Then everything went black, as she collapsed onto the floor.

When Chandler woke up, his face was in the dirt. His entire body was wracked with pain. He struggled to turn onto his back, still unable to lift his head. He opened his eyes. It was pitch black. He blinked furiously, forcing his eyes to dilate.   He could now make out the silhouettes of several trees. Trees. He was surrounded by gigantic Redwood trees.  A cool breeze kicked up, and Chandler suddenly felt something tugging on his shoulders. He winced with pain.  He forced his head around to find out what was pulling at him. As his eyes focused more he could see a large red tarp floating in a nearby tree. It was a parachute.

Phoebe had been on the phone with the airline for over an hour, and she was getting increasingly agitated.  She had been put on hold five times, by five different people. She knew that they were giving her the runaround, because they had no idea what was going on.  Ross, Rachel, Joey and Monica were glued to the television, flipping back and forth from the local news to CNN and back.  So far there was no news of a major airline crash. Maybe the plane never went down after all.  Monica's head was spinning. She was lying on the couch, still in shock over what had happened hours earlier.  Phoebe was finally able to get information from the airline. She found out that Chandler had landed in Portland, before boarding a small charter plane for Seattle. The plane dropped out of the sky somewhere over Olympia, but the pilots had given the wrong coordinates, and the rescuers were having trouble finding the wreckage.  Monica listened to Phoebe, her head ringing. This wasn't really happening. She kept praying that she would wake up.

The early morning sun shone on Chandler's face, waking him from what he'd hoped was a really bad dream. No such luck.  The morning air was cold, and the moisture in the air made it seem even colder. Chandler shivered, as he tried once again to stand up. His head was spinning. He touched his head, and felt the dried blood and dirt that had caked up in his sandy brown hair. He looked around, for any sign of the pilots, or even the plane. Silence filled the air. He was totally alone, and very lost. "Hello?" he yelled into the silence. He walked around his crash site, trying to recall what had happened to him. It had taken him nearly an hour to negotiate his parachute out of the towering Redwood. 

His right arm was all but useless, since Chandler had broken it in the fall. He'd managed to make a poor excuse for a splint out of a broken tree branch, but his arm was still throbbing. Suddenly, a dizzy spell hit, and Chandler had to grab onto a tree in order to balance himself. When he opened his eyes, he tried to focus on the tree he was hanging on to.  He noticed his wedding band, covered with dirt and blood. He sat down, and wondered if he would ever get to see Monica again.

Gloria, an airport representative, met the gang at the airport. She escorted them to the hotel and after they had checked in, she took them to a local seafood restaurant, to explain the situation.

_She's very professional_, Ross thought to himself, _I wonder if this is her full-time job, talking to victims' families._

Gloria explained that they had found the wreckage, but had thus far found no sign of Chandler. They had, however found the bodies of one of the two pilots, and, she added tentatively, parts of the other pilot. This sent shivers up Rachel's spine.  She glanced at Monica, who still seemed to be in total shock. Monica's eerie lack of emotion since finding out about the crash was starting to scare Rachel.

Monica lay awake in the hotel room, her head pounding. She hadn't slept in days. Her mind kept wandering back to the last time she saw Chandler. They'd fought. She had said some awful things. He couldn't be dead, he just couldn't be. They could not leave things like this. There were still so many other things to say.

Chandler was trying his hardest to get to sleep. The hard ground seemed to get harder every minute. His head was spinning.  He thought about Monica. What was she thinking now? Did she think he was dead? He couldn't imagine how he would handle the situation if he were in Monica's shoes. He missed her so much. His thoughts were interrupted when a sharp clap of thunder roared across the sky. The raindrops started coming down soon after, and Chandler realized that he needed to find shelter fast.  He slowly got up, careful not to aggravate his broken arm. He began searching for a place to wait out the impending storm.  He wandered toward what looked like a small hill. As he wandered closer, he could see what looked like a small cave.  It was pitch-black inside. He poked his head in, to try to get a feel of the size of the cavern. Suddenly, his electric blue eyes met a set of gleaming, yellow eyes. Chandler froze with terror. Suddenly, the creature inside the cave let out a ferocious, ear-peeling roar. Chandler had watched enough of The Discovery Channel to know that he was face-to-face with a very large bear.

Monica watched the raindrops hit the hotel window, like small, transparent pebbles. She wondered if Chandler was out in the rain, freezing and drenched. Suddenly, and without reason, Monica recalled a rainy day that she and Chandler spent together, back in New York;

_It was a Sunday, and Monica had planned on cleaning the apartment while Chandler and the guys went to a baseball game.  The game was postponed due to rain, so Chandler and Monica spent the day snuggled up on the couch, talking.  That day, Chandler asked her what her biggest fear was. She told him, that she was terrified that one day she would wake up, and he wouldn't be there. He looked at her intently. _

_"I will always be here, Sweetheart. Never doubt that."_

A clap of thunder jolted Monica from her daydream. She looked at the empty bed in front of her, and realized that her greatest fear had come to pass.


	2. A close call and a broken heart

Okay, so here is the next part. Thanks for all the reviews...I know it's not very realistic, but,   
Well, call it creative license, huh?  
  
I don't own most of these characters, blah blah blah.  
  
  
Chandler couldn't breathe. He was frozen with terror. The bear roared again, snapping Chandler out of his initial shock.   
He turned and sprinted at full speed away from the cave. It was pitch black, and Chandler was forced to stumble around trees   
that came into view just seconds before his body slammed into them. The rain pelted his raw skin, and stung his eyes, as he   
tried desperatly to find shelter from the rain, and from the beast that persued him. His body was screaming with  
pain, but he pushed himself to continue. The fear of being mauled by the bear scared the bejesus out of him.   
He had no idea where he was, so he just kept running straight ahead. Suddenly, the ground came out from under him,  
and he felt himself falling.  
  
  
The rain had washed away much of the evidence at the crash site. It also made the attempt to find Chandler that much more difficult.  
The rescuers continued to scan the area, hoping to find more than just the remnants of his belongings.  
Their was a brief feeling of hope when a rescuer found a torn peice of nylon-from a parachute, hanging on a tree. But the search  
turned up nothing more. The rescuers were beginning to think that there was nothing left of Chandler Bing to find.  
  
Chandler thought that he was hallucinating. He heard voices, coming from high above. He strained to hear what they were  
saying, but his head was pounding. He tried to yell, but nothing came out. He could hear the voices fading. He tried again to  
yell, but this time only a squeak came out. Soon afterward, everything went black.  
  
Back at the hotel, Monica began packing. The search was continuing, but none of them could afford to stay away from work  
any longer. Monica looked around the room, checking for anything she may be leaving behind. Her eyes fell on the tattered  
remains of Chandler's suitcase, recovered by rescuers two days ago. She hadn't quite gotten up the nerve to open it yet.  
She sighed, and dragged the suitcase over to the bed. She took a deep breath, unlatched the case, and flipped it open.  
On top was the shirt she'd given Chandler for Christmas last year. She picked it up and held it to her face, inhaling the  
familiar scent of Chandler's aftershave. She thumbed through some other clothes, and pulled out his favourite sweater vest.  
When she pulled it out, something fell out of the side pocket. She bent down and picked it up. It was a photo of her and   
Chandler, taken several years ago, before the two of them were even dating. Monica was smiling at the camera, but Chandler  
was looking at Monica, his arms wrapped around her shoulders. Even back then, he had a loving look in his eyes. The picture   
was well worn, obviously one of Chandler's favourites. Monica sighed, unable to stop the flow of tears from coming.  
  
Chandler groaned, annoyed that he once again found himself face down in the dirt. He struggled to stand up, but his legs just  
would not cooperate. He looked around, trying to get a better idea of where he was. The cavern walls were covered with moss,   
and there was a faint sound of running water coming from deep within the cavern.   
He looked up, noticing for the first time just how far he had fallen. He had narrowly escaped death  
twice now, and he wondered what else the great powers that be had in store for him. All he really wanted, more than anything else,  
was to see Monica. He missed her so much. He was determined to get back to her, at any cost.  
Now, how the hell was he going to get out of the cavern?  
  
Nothing felt the same back in New York. Monica went back to work, but she didn't enjoy it. She didn't enjoy much of  
anything anymore. She spent most of her free time moping around the apartment, thinking about Chandler. She wondered  
where he was, and what he was doing. She just refused to believe that she'd lost him.   
  
Two weeks went by, and no one had seen or heard from Monica. Rachel had managed to convince her to let the gang   
come over for dinner. She was surprised when Monica had offered to cook.  
Ross and Pheobe saw this as a good sign. They thought that maybe she was finally facing the reality of what had happened.   
"Hey Mon," Rachel said, as she and Ross entered the apartment.  
"Hey," Monica said, not moving from her spot in front of the picture window.  
"Pheebs and Joey are gonna be late." Rachel continued, "They said to start without them."  
"Huh?" Monica said absently.  
"Uh, I guess we are going out?" Ross asked.  
Dinner! Monica had totally forgotten that she was going to cook dinner tonight. Lately, she had been forgetting a lot  
of things.  
"So," Ross said, "where do you wanna go?"  
"Oh, Ross," Monica said,"I can't leave the apartment. Gloria might call with news, and I don't want to miss it."  
"Mon, you can't stay in here forever. What about work?"  
"Uh, I quit."  
"What?" Ross and Rachel said simultaniously.  
Monica felt awful. She knew that her friends wouldn't understand, but she needeed to be here when Gloria called.  
She found that she didn't even like going outside anymore. As long as she was here, in the apartment, she was  
safe from the pain and heartache. As long as she was here, she could pretend that it was all okay.  
  
  
Sheer determination was all Chandler had to keep him going. He was tired, hungry and in pain. But he told himself that he   
could get through this. Mind over matter. He tried to find a way to climb back up to ground level. He studied the walls that   
surrounded him. He found a wall that, at first glance, seemed to be climb-able(is that a word?). If his friends could   
see him now. The idea of Chandler doing anything that required this much physical activity would make them all laugh.   
His broken arm made scaling the wall of the cavern impossible. He struggled to gain a foothold on one side, hoping to use   
his legs and one good arm to make his way up. The moss was too slick, and Chandler slid down to the bottom again.  
This was ridiculous. There had to be another way out of here.  
  
Ross and Rachel were in the middle of a heated argument again. They were arguing over what to do about Monica.  
Ross thought that she needed professional help, while Rachel thought that all she needed was her friends and family.  
"Her birthday is coming up," Rachel said, "if we plan a party, it may bring her out of her shell."  
"She won't even let us into the apartment Rachel," Ross argued, "what makes you think we can get her to come to a party?"  
Ross sighed in frustration. He knew that what Monica really needed was closure. The not knowing was what was breaking her   
heart. Dead or alive, she needed to know where Chandler was.  
"Ross!" Rachel broke into Ross' thoughts. "Are you even listening?"   
"What?"  
"Argh!" Rachel exclaimed, as she stormed out of Ross' apartment. She flew past Pheobe and Joey as she left.  
"What happened?" Joey asked.  
"Rachel is being impossible," Ross groaned, as he plopped down onto the sofa.  
"Wow, are you two dating again?" Phoebe asked.  
"Very funny," Ross said. "Hey, what do you guys think we should do for Monica's birthday?"  
"Actually," Phoebe said, "I have a great idea!"  



	3. Coming Home

Chandler followed the sound of the running water all the way to a large wall, deep within the cavern.  
"Dammit", he muttered. His eyes scanned the wall, looking for any means of escape. He noticed that the water seemed to flow   
underneath the wall. He crouched down to get a better look. He could see what looked like daylight on the other side.  
Chandler sat down and tried to analyze the situation. He couldn't climb the other wall, and this seemed to be the only way out.  
The question was, could he swim that far?  
  
*  
  
"Pheebs, we can't even get Monica out of the apartment. What makes you think we can get her on an airplane?"  
"C'mon Ross, we can be creative!"  
"What do you suggest we do, kidnap her?" Joey laughed.  
"OH! Good idea! Lets do that!" Pheobe said.  
"Okay," Rachel said, entering Ross' apartment. "I booked 5 tickets to Tokyo!"  
"Tokyo?" Ross asked, stunned.  
"Well, the only tickets I could book for that price were for Tokyo or London," Rachel explained.  
"And obviously we can't go to London."  
"Tokyo it is then." Ross sighed.  
  
*  
  
It took everything Monica had to get out of bed. She decided she should really take a shower. Not that it mattered.  
She hadn't left the apartment for weeks. She closed the bathroom door and started the shower.  
  
While Monica showered, Rachel and Pheobe snuck into the apartment and packed Monica's bags. Rachel still wasn't sure that taking  
Monica to some foreign country would help her, but she was running out of ideas herself.   
  
Monica finished getting dressed. She pulled on an old pair of jeans, and one of Chandler's work shirts. She looked at herself  
in the mirror. She looked terrible. She was too thin, and very pale. She started crying again. She couldn't control it anymore.  
Her friends thought that losing Chandler was what sent her into this cocoon of depression. In a way it was, but what her friends  
didn't know was that she had found out that she was pregnant before the crash. They also didn't know that she had lost the baby three   
weeks ago. It was like losing Chandler twice. The baby was the only thing she really had left. And now that was gone too.  
Monica just wanted to die. She couldn't see how things could possibly get any worse.  
  
*  
  
The water was a lot colder than Chandler was expecting. He shivered and took several deep breaths. He had come this far,  
and there was no turning back now. He turned, and looked at the opening under the wall. The daylight on the other end suddenly   
seemed so much further away. He took one more deep breath, and started swimming. He kicked his legs as quickly as he could,  
but his body was in so much pain. His broken arm was useless, and it really slowed him down. He wasn't sure how much longer he  
could hold his breath.  
"Don't panic", he told himself. "Panicking will only get you killed."  
He looked up, and saw only solid rock. He felt like he was getting nowhere, and he was quickly running out of time.  
  
*   
  
Monica exited her bedroom, and was startled to see her friends standing at her door.   
"Monica," Ross said firmly, "Let's go."  
"What? Where?"  
Without another word, Ross and Joey took Monica's hands, and led her to the door. She was too weak to fight them.  
She suddenly didn't care where they were taking her. Nothing mattered anymore anyway.  
  
*  
  
Chandler emerged from the water, and gasped for every bit of air he could get. He had actually made it! He looked around,  
thankful to finally be out in the daylight again. He pulled is aching body out of the water, and collapsed onto the ground.  
A few yards away, something was shuffling through the dried leaves. Chandler opened his eyes, lifted his head, and tried to find   
the source of the noise. He prayed that he wouldn't have to run from another bear.  
  
*  
  
Monica wandered through Shinjuku Park, taking in the beauty of the Cherry Blossom trees. This certainly was not where she had planned to   
spend her birthday. She thought that it was sweet of her friends, bringing her to Japan for her birthday. But as soon as they landed,  
everyone started arguing over what to do. Ross and Joey wanted to go electronics shopping, Pheobe wanted to see Meiji Shrine,  
and Rachel wanted to go shopping in Ginza. Monica told the others she was tired, but promised to meet them later. She sighed, and sat  
down on a nearby bench. She was in the middle of one of the world's most crowded cities, and she was totally alone.  
  
*  
  
Ralph finished unloading the truck, eager to get some fishing in before sundown. It was his first camping trip with his son Travis, and   
he couldn't wait to teach him all that he knew about the great outdoors.  
"Travis, let's set up the tent over there." Ralph suggested.  
Travis lugged the pile of aluminum poles over to the clearing, and dropped them onto the ground.  
"What do I do now, Dad?" the 12 year old asked.  
Ralph laughed. "I guess I'd better show you how to do that, huh?"  
  
*  
  
The gang had been sitting at Narita airport for 2 hours. Their flight had been delayed due to rain, and now that Rachel  
had hit all of the shops in the terminal, she was beginning to get a little whiny and restless.  
"I wanna go hooome!" Joey whined, making matters that much worse.  
"Would you guys SHUT UP!" Ross said.  
They started bickering back and forth.  
Monica returned fromt he bathroom to this chaotic scene, and couldn't help but to laugh. The group turned to her.  
"Hey!" Pheobe said, "We finally got a smile out of you!"  
Monica looked at her friends, and flet a lump forming in her throat.  
"I just want to thank you guys for doing this," Monica said. "I am feeling a little better...."  
Before she could continue, Joey walked over and pulled her into a giant hug. The others followed suit.  
Monica had managed to convince her friends that she was doing better. Inside, she was screaming.  
  
*  
  
It took Ralph and Travis 20 minutes to erect the tent. Once they'd finished, they stood back to marvel at their accomplishment.  
"Hey Dad," Travis said, "Is there supposed to be an extra pole?"   
Ralph looked at his son, then the aluminum pole. "Uh...."  
Suddenly, Ralph heard a noise eminating from the nearby trees.   
"Stay here," Ralph said, as he grabbed his rifle and headed into the woods.  
He leaned up against a large tree, and poked his head around each side. He walked slowly, checking to make sure his gun was loaded.  
Suddenly, Ralph felt movement behind him. He swung around, and pointed his rifle into the face of a very terrified man.  
  
*  
  
After spending 12 hours in Narita airport, and another 15 on the plane coming home, the gang finally landed at JFK.  
Monica could not wait to take a shower, and go straight back to bed, where she planned on staying for a very long time.  
  
She walked into her apartment, and dropped her bags. She hit the play button on the answering machine, and pulled a bottle   
of juice from the refrigerator.  
"You have 12 new messages" the machine told her.  
Monica rolled her eyes when the first message played. It was her mother. Monica walked over and hit the 'skip' button.  
The next message was from Gloria.  
"Monica, it's Gloria Lither, from the airline. I just wanted to let you know that the search has been officially halted.  
I am very sorry, but they are declaring your husband dead. If you have any questions, please call me at...."  
Monica didn't hear the rest of the message. It was over. Chandler was dead. She was numb, unable to even cry anymore.   
She walked into the bathroom, and turned on the shower, ignoring the next 10 calls.  
  
*  
Chandler layed on the hospital bed, staring at the ceiling. He never actually thought that he would see a ceiling again.  
It felt strange, being indoors. He sat up and studied the cast on his arm. He chuckled when he thought about the makeshift  
splint he had been using for so long. He decided to try to call Monica again. He had already called 6 times, but he didn't care.  
He longed to hear her voice, to see her face, to hold her in his arms. He was flying back to New York in three hours.   
The woman from the airline was surprised that he was willing to fly again. But he just wanted to get home as soon as possible.  
He had survived the crash, a fall, near drowning, a bear, and a guy with a gun. He felt like he could handle almost anthing.  
  
*  
Monica was sitting at the table, trying to concentrate. She needed to get past this. She sighed, and looked around the  
empty apartment. She looked at the answering machine, and realized that she never finished listening to her messages.  
She was about to hit 'repeat' when Ross, Rachel, and Joey walked in.  
"Hey Mon," They all said.  
"Hey."  
"We are gonna go see a movie, and was wondering if you wanted to go."  
This was it. This was the test. She had to take that first step, and start living her life again.  
She decided not to let her friends down anymore.  
"Just let me get a sweater," she said, and walked back into her bedroom.  
"Hey guys," Pheobe said, appearing in the doorway, "Look what I found."  
They all turned to look at Pheobe, as Chandler appeared behind her.  
*  
  
Monica was startled by the sudden screaming and carrying on that was coming from her living room.  
"What the hell," she said to herself, as she walked out of her bedroom.  
At first, she thought she was dreaming again. The room started to spin, and her heart lept into her throat.  
"Chandler?" She croaked, tears welling up in her eyes.  
  
Chandler looked up, as his wife exited the bedroom. She stood in the doorway of their bedroom, in a state of  
shock. She was more beautiful than he remembered. He started shaking, unable to control the wealth of emotions that   
consumed him. He walked over to Monica, and pulled her into his arms.  
"You're alive," she cried into his shoulder.  
"I take it you didn't get my multiple messages?" Chandler said, gesturing towards the answeing machine.  
"Oh. I..."  
Chandler cut off her explaination with the long passionate kiss that he had been dreaming about for weeks.  
He never thought coming home would taste so sweet.  
  
Monica fell into the kiss, still in shock that she was even in Chandler's arms. The others snuck out quietly.  
"He's really here", she thought, "I'm really in his arms."  
She was finally home.  
  
  
Sappy, yes, I know. Oh well. Let me know what you think!!!!  



	4. Epilogue: A year of memories, a lifetime...

I was asked to write an epilogue. I don't know that it will be all that interesting, but, here it is;  
  
TOW The Crash(epilogue)  
  
The beeping rung in Chandler's ears. It was so loud. He could feel the plane dropping out of the sky.  
His ears popped, and his head felt heavy. As he gasped for air, he could hear someone screaming his name.  
He suddenly realized that it was Monica. She was sitting right next to him, tears streaming down her beautiful porcelain face.  
He tried to reach out to her, but she suddenly seemed much farther away. The alarm got louder and louder.  
Suddenly, there was no noise at all. Everything just stopped.  
  
Chandler sat straight up, screaming. He was sweating profusely. Monica jolted up, and immediatly put her arms around her husband.  
"I'm here sweetheart. It's okay."  
Chandler looked around. He was in their bedroom, totally safe.  
"These nightmare's seem to be getting worse." Monica observed grimly.  
"I don't understand," Chandler said, struggling to catch his breath, "Why is this happening now? The crash was a year ago."  
"Maybe we should see someone about this," Monica suggested softly.  
"No," Chandler argued, getting out of bed, "This is stupid. They are just bad dreams."  
"Bad dreams that you have *every night* Chandler. Bad dreams that keep you up all night."  
Chandler sighed. He knew Monica was right. But he really did not want to see a head shrinker.  
"I need some air," he said softly, and walked out to the living room.  
Monica walked out to the living room 30 minutes later, and found Chandler out on the veranda, hugging himself to keep warm.  
She grabbed a blanket from the couch, and climbed out to join him.  
He was startled when she put the blanket, and her arms, around his shaking shoulders.  
"Maybe I do need help," he said after a minute.  
"Only if you want to, sweetheart." She whispered.  
He turned to face her, tears in his eyes.  
"You're about to have my child," he croaked, looking at her swollen belly, "I can't keep all three of us up like this every night."  
  
  
A week later, Chandler found himself at the door of Dr. Frank Green, a noted dream pshychologist. He felt a knot form in his  
stomach, and beads of sweat form on his brow. He knocked softly.  
A tall, older man, with warm brown eyes, greeted Chandler at the door.  
"You must be Chandler Bing." he said. "Please come in."  
He was very friendly and personable, and Chandler felt his guard drop ever so slightly.  
"Have a seat Chandler," Dr. Green said, "Would you like something to drink?"  
"Uh, no. No thank you. No Thank you, sir," Chandler blabbered nervously.  
"You can call me Frank," he laughed.  
"So Chandler," Frank said, his tone changing from hospitable to clinical, "Tell me about yourself."  
"Uh, okay. I am a data processor. I am married. Um, my wife is pregnant."  
"Is this your first child?"  
Chandler paused. "Um, yeah. Our first."  
"Really?"  
Chandler's mind wandered back to the days following his return;  
  
  
**One Year Ago**  
  
It was Sunday, Chandler's favourite day of the week. Neither he nor Monica had to work on Sundays, so they often slept in, or  
just spent the morning laying in bed, content in each others arms. This was Chandler's first Sunday back at home. He was fidgeting  
with the cast on his arm, when Monica sat up suddenly.   
"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Chandler asked.  
"No, no sweetheart. You didn't do anything." Monica said breathlessly.  
"Are you okay? Is it the baby?"  
Monica swallowed hard. She had been struggling to think of a way to tell Chandler about her miscarriage. She was waiting for  
the perfect time. The truth was, there would never be a perfect time.  
"Chandler," she said, turning to her husband, "there is no baby."  
Chandler's heart skipped a beat. "What?"  
"I lost it. I was so....there was so much going on.....I am so sorry." Monica started crying.  
"Oh, Mon" Chandler wrapped his arms around her trembling body, "You have nothing to be sorry about."  
"I should have taken better care of myself," Monica weeped, "I was so worried..."  
"Shhh," Chandler whispered, "It's okay. We can just try again. And this time," he said, kissing her forehead,   
"I won't get on any badly built airplanes."  
Monica laughed, and hugged Chandler.  
"Sounds like a plan."  
  
**Present Day**  
  
"You are blaming yourself for the miscarriage." Frank stated.  
"What?"  
"You believe that your wife wouldn't have lost the baby if you hadn't gone on that trip."  
Chandler stared at Frank in disbelief. It was if he was reading his thoughts.  
"Chandler, you need to let go of that guilt. It isn't anyone's fault. Things are going to happen. Things that  
are out of our control. It is entirely possible that Monica would have lost the baby anyway. There is no way for you  
to know."  
Chandler looked at Frank, then at his feet.  
"So it could happen again?"  
"Yes."  
*  
  
"How was it?" Monica asked, as she greeted Chandler at the door.  
"It was....okay." Chandler said absently, wandering to the sofa. He instinctivly grabbed the remote and started flipping  
through channels.  
"You don't want to talk about it?" Monica asked.  
"Not really."  
Monica sighed deeply and continued cooking dinner. She hoped Chandler wouldn't be this distant everytime he finished a session.  
"Do you think it was my fault?" Chandler asked, not turning from the television.  
"Do I think *what* was your fault?"  
"The baby."  
Monica laughed, and rubbed her belly.  
"Well, no one else could have done this to me."  
"No that one. The other...."  
Monica's smile faded, as she realized what it was that Chandler was talking about.  
"If I hadn't taken that trip.....do you think it would have been okay?"  
Monica sat next to Chandler, and pulled him into her arms.  
"Is that what you think? That I blame you? Chandler, it was not your fault. If there is anyone to blame, it's me."  
"Mon..."  
"No, Chandler, listen to me. I chose to not take care of myself. I was depressed, and I was selfish. It wasn't your fault  
that your plane crashed. It wasn't your fault that I chose to be so destructive."  
"I didn't have to go."  
"No, you didn't. But you couldn't have known what was going to happen. I don't blame you. Please don't blame yourself."  
They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Both were deep in thought. The silence was broken when Monica flinched.  
"What?"  
"The baby kicked," Monica grinned.  
"Really?" Chandler placed both hands around Monica's belly.  
The baby kicked again, causing Chandler to jolt. He giggled, and looked up at Monica. She was grinning at him.  
"This is the baby's way of telling us to pay attention to *her*"  
"Or *him*" Chandler argued.  
Monica giggled. "Or him."  
  
*  
  
"What do *you* think the dream is telling you?" Frank asked. This was Chandler's 10th session.  
"It's telling me to take the train." Chandler joked.  
"Chandler," Frank said, "I'm serious."  
"So am I," Chandler said. "You're the doctor, you tell me."  
"Okay. I think the dream relays your greatest fear."  
"Flying?"  
"Is flying your greatest fear? Or is it the fear that you will lose Monica. Or the baby?"  
Chandler thought about what Frank was saying.  
"The key in your nightmare is Monica. She was there, but out of your reach. And she was screaming.  
The last thing you want to see is Monica in pain. You are still holding onto this guilt. You think  
that if something happens to this baby, you'll lose Monica."  
"Hmm" Chandler said.  
"I'd like you to come back next week with Monica. I think that together, we can get the nightmares to stop.  
I can't help you get rid of your guilt. But Monica can."  
*  
Chandler went home that night, and told Monica about all that Frank had told him.  
"Chandler, You are not going to lose me."  
"I hope not," Chandler said.  
"After everything that's happened, shouldn't *I* be afraid of losing *you*?"  
"I am not going anywhere," Chandler said.  
  
*  
"Push Monica!"  
Monica had never been in so much physical pain in her entire life. She could hear Chandler screaming at her, and felt the  
uncontrollable urge to smack him.  
"You're doing great, honey." Chandler said, kissing her sweat-soaked forehead.  
Her feelings of hatred suddenly melted.  
"I love you sweetheart!!" She cried, as another wave of contractions hit.  
"AHHRGH!!"  
  
"Congratulations," said the masked OB/GYN, "It's a girl."  
Chandler hugged Monica fiercely.   
"A girl!" Chandler whispered, "we made a little girl."  
Monica had never been so happy....or so exhausted.  
  
*  
  
"Daddy!" Chandler's adorable daughter ran toward him, as he entered, and clutched onto his pant leg.  
"Hey dollface," Chandler said, picking up his two year old. "Where's your mommy?"  
"Right here," Monica said, waddeling out of their bedroom.  
Chandler kissed his very pregnant wife. "How are you feeling?"  
"Fat," Monica said.  
"Daddy, I said to mommy that she had my brother in there."  
"Oh really?"  
Monica laughed. "Yes, mommy thinks that daddy has been putting ideas in his daughters head."  
Chandler laughed. "Hey, if we will it to be a boy..."  
Monica cut him off with a kiss.  
"Dr. Green called. He has to move our appointment to Tuesday. Is that okay?"  
"Yup."  
"Can I come too?"  
"Oh, honey I think Auntie Phoebe wants to see you on Tuesday!"  
"I wanna go with you!"  
"Hope Althea Bing," Chandler said firmly, "What did I tell you about whining?"  
Hope pouted and ran into her bedroom.  
"She gets *that* from her mother," Chandler said.  
"Oh really? Ya know, I may be pregnant, but I can still kick your ass."  
Chandler laughed, and hugged Monica. He pulled away, and looked at her, suddenly looking very   
serious.  
"What?"  
"Today is the day..." Chandler whispered.  
"The anniversary of the crash." Monica finished.  
"I can't believe that after all this time I still think about that day."  
"Well sweetie, it's not like it was an ordinary day."  
"I guess I just..." Chandler stopped, realizeing that he hadn't quite formed his swirling thoughts  
into words.  
"I look at all that I have, all that *we* have, and I....I guess I just can't believe that I came  
so close to *not* having any of this. You, Hope, this little baby..."  
Monica smiled, as Chandler took her face into his hands.  
"I've waited my entire life for this family."  
Chandler swayed Monica back and forth, to the music that was playing in his head.  
*  
Think of Tomorrow (Words and Music by Chris Isaak)  
  
The future looks so bright ahead, the past is far behind.  
I think of all the things we said, and you are on my mind.  
Think of tomorrow. Think of tomorrow.  
  
Mexico has sunny skies, Hawaii knows no rain.  
Any place you want sweetheart, I will buy the ring.  
Think of tomorrow. Think of tomorrow.  
  
  
Anything you want sweetheart, anything you do.  
Anywhere you go sweetheart, I will follow you.  
Think of tomorrow. Think of tomorrow.  
  
  
Think of tomorrow. Think of tomorrow.  
  
  
This car I drive is old and beat, it may not see me through.  
This car I drive is fine with me, it's headed back to you.  
Think of tomorrow.  
  
*  
Okay, yeah, I have no idea where I was going with this.....but oh well.  
I am gonna go work on my other fics now....  
  
  
  
  



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